Pandemic Logic: All the Contradictions You Were Forced to Swallow

(1) The vaccines were “warp speed” — but not rushed.

(2) You were fired from your job and banished from public spaces if you didn’t take the jab — but it wasn’t coerced.

(3) Criticism and cost-benefit analyses of the vaccine were vigorously censored — but people had informed consent.

(4) Vaccines are modeled after natural immunity — but natural immunity doesn’t exist.

(5) The experts were more sophisticated than you — but everyone had to vaccinate, and it didn’t matter which vaccine, your age, comorbidities, or prior exposure.

(6) Lockdowns were common sense — but were advised against in 2019.

(7) Masks were no big deal — but are classified as torture when prisoners in Guantanamo Bay are forced to wear them during transfers.

(8) Everyone was at risk from COVID — but those over 70 with comorbidities had over a thousand times the risk of young people.

(9) To save the world, everyone had to lock down — but blue-collar workers still had to deliver everything to every home on Earth.

(10) COVID organically arose from fruit bats — and definitely not from the virus lab down the road.

(11) Surgeons wear masks, and so should you — but surgeons don’t wear them when speaking to patients before surgery. Wonder why that is?

(12) It wasn’t a mass hysteria — but the average respondent thought 9% of Americans were already dead by summer.

(13) COVID was a super-deadly virus — but no one started dying until the world collectively screamed, “COVID is a super-deadly virus!”

(14) The COVID vaccines are vaccines — but we had to change the definition of “vaccine” to make it so.

(15) “Follow the science” — but The Science followed the virtue signals.

(16) We know the vaccines are all-cause mortality positive — but did no medium- or long-term studies before mandating them.

(17) Vaccines reduce transmission — but don’t.

(18) Ventilators and midazolam were beneficial — to hospital staff trying to suppress aerosols from patients they were, in effect, killing.

(19) The vaccines were safe and effective — but you couldn’t sue if they harmed you.

(20) “My body, my choice” — but not when it came to experimental injections.

(21) Small businesses were non-essential — but Walmart, Amazon, and liquor stores were sacred.

(22) It was an emergency — but we had time for TikTok dances in hospitals.

(23) Social distancing was vital — except during Progressive protests.

(24) Doctors were heroes — but only if they didn’t think for themselves.

(25) Progressives still hated big business — but eagerly demanded that Big Pharma drug you and Big Tech cancel you.