Because anything Jews do is genocide

• I walked past a couple of Jewish people today and almost got genocided.

• I was once at a urinal next to Seth Rogan, who is Jewish, and almost got genocided.

• I never went to see Schindler’s List in the theater out of fear I’d be genocided by Jewish audience members.

• I once ordered chicken soup but matzo balls were in it trying to genocide me.

• Gal Gadot is one of the most beautiful women in the world but no way I’d risk genocide by dating her.

• I got a deli sandwich today but left quickly to avoid being genocided.

• Felix Mendelssohn is Jewish and has some of the best concertos you can’t listen to for risk of being genocided.